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35 What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? and 49 What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer? 💙💙💙
Hi Mooshie!!
Trust you to pick the self love ones grumble grumble
Okaaaay, so, what’s my favourite fic I’ve posted. This is hard because some of them are my babies you know?
For example for if I’m going down I’m taking you with me is OUR baby. Writing it was an utter joy (even though we’ve only posted the first few chapters) and getting to share the writing highs and anxieties with someone is so so so nice.
Also a shout out to how do you love? for being the first Tarlos fic and the first fic I wrote in literally years. It’s a little rushed and rusty and I had a covid fever when I wrote it but it kick started my love of writing again.
Well, no, I’ve written multiple multiple fics for other fandoms I just didn’t post them.
What would I say was the best introduction to me as a writer.
Oh, this is hard. You always make me think about myself. 😠
I would have to say either Educating Mateo which I think I’m most known for (if that’s wrong let me know) which is my Tarlteo fic - I hope it show cases my love of trying new things and also not giving a fuck about the haters 😉
Or
When I’m like this you’re the one I want which is my break up era BDSM one because lbr have I ever written anything “normal”? As someone once asked me 😂
(No shade to those that do, of course, so many cakes on this buffet table and I love cake.)
You know those questions you get in interviews that are like how would your friends describe you? That’s this lmao. How would I know?!?
Thaaaaaank you Moosh 💙
#cee speaks#writing#tarlos#carlos reyes#911 lonestar#tk strand#keep in mind the tags on those please#Moosh💙
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i am writing an accidental haiku to attract haiku bot
#haiku bot#🦾 finn txt#normal post. average. average words in these tags.#need to catch it. with a net maybe. like those ones that they always show ppl catching butterflies and junk with on shows. pspsppspspspspsp#ooooooooooh u wanna look at this post so bad oooooooooh#<- attempting to attract haiku bot to this post#wowoowoooowowowowowoowowowowowowoowowowoowowowoowowiwoowiwiwoowowowowoowowwwww (<- normal noises)#I wonder if there’s a limit to how many tags you can add#time to begin the haiku bot summoning ritual um#oooowowowowoowowowwwwooooo haiku bot haiku bot haiku bot oooowoowowowowwwwwwwu you wanna look at this post haiku bot ooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoo#throws flower. get over here please.#man. my arm hurts.#its weird bc one#why does my arm hurt thats really donking random but two im not?? why do i have an arm. i still get kinda surprised by it when i front lmao#why am i rambling so much in the tags#oh right trying to figure out if theres a limit to how many tags there can be dhdjdjndhdjsjmsjdjd#i think lesbians are cool. girls who like other girls are awesome. keep existing 👍#uhhhhhhhh#never mind im done with that now i dont anything more to say :(#never mind again#tags tags tags tags tags#LISTEN IM BORED AS HECK AND WANT TO DO SOMETHING RANDOM AND SILLY SHUSH#journal
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Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
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I Was A Bit Scared About Posting This! I Don’t Draw A Lot Compared To Everyone In Our System But I Thought About Giving It A Go Since I’m Really Satisfied With How It Looks! Art Comes In So Many Different Shapes, Sizes, And Styles! It’s So Fun To Express Art In My Own Way! I’m More Of A Crayon-Type Kind Of Guy Myself When Drawing And Doodling! @:)
— Wally, He/They, 🏠
#Oh! Please Keep In Mind That I’m An Alter! This Is NOT Roleplay! Please Don’t Mix Those Two Up! Thank You! @:) - 🏠#Do Not Tag As Kin @:) - 🏠#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#wally x barnaby#wallaby#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home arg#alter art#fictive art#Boy! These Tags Are A Lot To Type! - 🏠#(🏠) Hello Neighbor! Come In! @:)#<- My Tag For Anything That Includes Me In It! @:)#(🌭&🏠) another believer#(🌭) Man’s Best Friend @:)#Hehe! Had To Make Barns His Own Tag! @:) - 🏠#I Really Shouldn’t Be Rambling In The Tags A Ton! Apologies Everyone! @:( - 🏠
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Okay so I'm& revitalizing this again.
Hi, my& name's Arcana& / Angel&, and I& am the core / host / singletsona of The Imaginarians Galaxy. If you want to help support a local queer, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, intersex, mspec, aspec, autistic, disabled, neurodivergent, hoh, chronically ill, psychotic spoonie witch two spirited mixed native and ashkenazi jewish bodied multigenic DID system who's an aspiring activist, fashion model, voice & film actrex, ASMRtist, youtuber/vtuber, polyglot & writer, it'd be greatly appreciated.
This month is Pride Month & Indigenous History Month so please support our indigenous turtle island communities, know who's land you're on and support queer indigenous turtle islander creators, & on top of that, July 13th is also my& birthday & July is also Disability Pride Month & Queer Wrath Month !! I& just find it's funny how white queers get all this support & clout, but the minute a queer Native Jew asks for any kind of mutual assistance, it's like cricket noises, but anyway, here I& go again, I'm& putting out these links just in case someone actually does wanna help out because it's only right to do so being an indigenous queer two spirited bodied system, after all.
If you're white, you can think of this as paying reparations for us& for dealing with antinative racism, antisemitism, ableism, sanism, pluralphobia, psyism, audism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, multitransphobia, aphobia, exorsexism, intersexism and the ongoing colonization of my& people and fighting on the behalf of the indigenous, queer and plural communities on here while for any POC reading this, you can think of this as extending your solidarity with us&, so after I& spent a lot of blood sweats and tears into what i& do, I'm& finally asking something that would benefit me& for a change, even like 10$ could help, but even if you still can't for whatever reason, please spread the word out to help us& live easier as a disabled, neurodivergent mixed native system in this ableist & racist world.
Donate To Our& P*yP*l
Multipurpose Psychiatric Service Dog Donations
Throne Wishlist
So far these are the best ways to support us&. Information on commissions, booking tarot readings with me& as well as sensitivity reader information will be available in a reblog eventually.
We& didn't have a great childhood growing up as we& were abused for a decade & we& weren't taught many lifeskills so we're& still learning from the gate. Even though we aren't in a life threatening emergency, I'm& generally not in the right financial space to spend a lot & buying my& own shit because I'm& Saving Up™ for a lot of things, including the possibility of me& moving to my& first ever apartment next year & my& future service dog & I& cannot work due to my& multiple disabilities, & I& can't stand up for long periods of time without feeling exhausted & just being an overall madcripple, so whatever you do, it'd be greatly appreciated, especially if you like our& content.
Remember, reblogs > likes!
#arcana.txt#mutual aid.#** post; signal boost.#hennywayz please consider helping us& out !#our& p.osts for our& t.arot readings & c.ommishes'll be open soon hopefully bc we& got Good Reviews !! TM#also our& s.ervice d.og GFM is still a wip in the sense the description needs to be updated our& bad but you generally get the gist lmao#but keep in mind that this is only for those who're mentally & physically able to give who have energy & spoons to care & those who have $#if you don't have any of that that's fine too !! n e wayz yt settlers yall owe us& apology gift reparations lmao#tagging for visibility purposes:#indigenous history month#pride month#pride#** post; okay to reblog.#!!!!!
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Forgot to post this earlier but I did in fact comb the entire Vesperia script to determine how many times he uses ま/まあ throughout the game, along with a few other phrases he uses repeatedly. This counts all of main story, every single sidequest, and every single skit in the game.
Final counts were:
ま/まあ: 279
Ma/Maa; translates to "well". He uses this at the beginning of a sentence usually, but it's sometimes in the middle. "Ma" is usually more quick and snappy. "Maa" is more thoughtful and/or prolonged. Obviously it can vary based on context, but that's the general breakdown.
んじゃ and any variants: 133
Nja, along with variants such as "ja", "soreja", etc. Variants are counted when they're all used to express "let's get going", when they're about to head off ("ja" could be used in a sentence such as "ja/so then/but then, why is xyz like this", etc). They encompass translations such as "well then" (let's get going implied. includes "so then", "then" "alright then", and so on), "we should be off", "let's get going", "let's go", etc. (not to be confused with 行こう (ikou) 行くぜ, "ikuze", and other similar versions of this phrase. That can also mean "let's go", but any instances of Yuri using that particular phrase was not counted because it wasn't a variant of, specifically, んじゃ, which is also his most common "let's go" ja variant).
おい / おいおい: 66
Oi/Oi oi; translates to "hey"/"hey, hey", though "oi" is more or less an accepted word in English nowadays.
おっと: 12
Otto (not to be confused with "oto", referring to sound); an expression of surprise that can translate roughly to "whoa there" (which is the most common translation I do see for it and what I'd use in most cases too, context of course varying). The reason I included this one despite it being so seemingly low in number is because it's not a particularly common expression, much less one used multiple times by a single character? It's so rare from anyone else, which is just a regular thing relative to Yuri and his dialogue/speech (i.e. most characters sparingly use phrases repeatedly, as compared to Yuri... as you can see lol. Other characters use these words/phrases, but nowhere near as regularly, if regularly at all).
Realized along the way I should've included やれやれ (yare yare, "good grief", "oh dear", "oh boy" etc), but by the time I realized I should have in case it was an interesting count, I was too far into the script to be able to handle going all the way back through it LOL.
No. No, I am not joking that Yuri used ま/まあ 279 times throughout the course of the game. That is to say, it could be more if I missed any, but on the assumption I didn't, that's where it stands.
Why do I love this so much? Because it's a very specific character quirk of a character I adore. I'm very fond of his repetition. Thank you.
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#so glad I gave him his own tag jpfjugDFJISHFG he fuckin' needs it#OH ALSO note that I may or may not have (I genuinely don't know I don't THIIIINK I did?) accidentally picked up#the “but then" etc variant of ja. at this point I don't remember and I'd have to go back through my doc of this#bc I was skim-combing the script juggling several phrases mainly for ma. if I ever do a recount I'll confirm lol#also shoutout to Rays for using ま/まあ 68 times for him which is 4 more times than he uses it in Vesp arc 1 main story#I'm both thankful and amazed that Rays' writers ACTUALLY kept it to the correct general extent at large (when you consider the size of#both games and Yuri's role) I've always expressed how dedicated they are to the source material of the legacy chars but#that CEMENTED it LOL. the way they retain speech quirks for legacy chars is amazing and I applaud them#he uses おい / おいおい 54 times throughout Rays#おっと was used 10 times throughout Rays which is hilariously almost identical to Vesp's usage#んじゃ they did keep but I didn't count the amount of times#now MIND YOU Rays is split into 4 arcs prior to Recollection (which he's not in) and has to contend with about 200ish legacy characters#Yuri is largely in arc 4 and has a large chunk of appearances in arc 2#he's mostly absent from arc 3 after the beginning of it and he's not in arc 1 much after the first chapter (which is his chapter)#he does show up in a lot of skits early into Rays tho since they only had so many chars to work with for arc 1 skits#and I also included count of those phrases in events (both skits and events throughout the game)#WHAT I'M SAYING is that Rays still managed to retain his word choice repetitiveness#and managed to get the count that high which is a very accurate reflection of it#while trying to put about 200 legacy chars through a revolving door#they were THAT on the nose with Yuri's quirks and further cements that this is a very Yuri thing#and a character quirk choice that was brought in from the game of origin#and they DID do this with other chars not just him... but the fact that they DID to me means#they thought it was important enough of a quirk to make sure they didn't lose it in his dialogue#WHICH. I AGREE. I AM VERY VERY DEEPLY PLEASED THEY KEPT IT#it just goes to show how dedicated they were in faithfully translating the characters into a gacha game#(not tl in the loc sense but tl in the ''writing a char outside their origin game for a non-origin game appearance'')#it also proved my theory that Yuri's vocal repetition was done intentionally bc they found it part of him enough to carry it over#anyway yeah i have yuri lowell brainrot and he pretty much owns 98 percent of the real estate in my brain these days
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yeah so about ichinose.
if there’s one thing harusono is gonna do it’s give characters identifying marks
like I really don’t think there’s anything profound to say here it’s just like. ahhhh I’m sending you psychic beams you’ll understand. basically I’m wondering though The hell happened in the year since this happened
gayass..
#ichinose ao#sorry for putting my actual thoughts in the tags <- unapologetic#[thinks about the s&m chart again] [falls to the ground gripping head in hands]#like. ohhhh my god that fucking chart is ruining my life seriously#ichinose who is (in kagi’s mind) a kind senpai and (in hirano’s) a straightforward guy with digestive issues#and he is totally both of those things. someone who expressed concerns about hirano staying with kagi#but supported hirano after his declaration of intent about it#someone who can look at them being just so. THEM. and think Lucky stiffs. because he’s running out of time#and he has definitely not done anything about whatever the fuck THESE TWO HAVE GOING ON……#like big surprise dirtbrain is latching onto another weird guy being weird. be quiet please it’s embarrassing i know#just something about ichinose’s pining and the way it manifests and how even at valentines he can talk about what the dorm manager thinks#like just off the cuff. because he just knows. Why does harusono keep doing this to me#also ichinose swears a lotttt huh. something to think about#okay well. anyway#forgot to say here that the identifying marks comment is also relevant to my white whale. when we. get there
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me when the chaotic evil barbarian gets to fuck up the trafficking ring’s day (you take iryo and charon? like they're yours?? jail. jail for lich for thousand years.)
#my art#Cowboy Campaign#DnD OC#‘Ladybird’ (OC)#tw body mutilation#body horror#The lich is like “oooh i wanna keep you’’ @ Iryo and im just like BITCH??? Hes already got someone with their name engraved on his collar#and it’s THIS emotionally repressed fucker#but no please keep agitating them;#keep implying that the people they've claimed as Theirs (in mind body and soul) aren't—#see how far that gets you. (they will never admit that they see these people as more than mere tools)#Those are THEIR dogs. Find your own /jov#rea rambles in the tags#rea's trash
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Vesper thoughts; Late Night Swim (Please read the tags for CW before opening)
Sometimes, when it's late at night and he can't sleep, Vesper will go for a swim in the Citadel's private pool. Technically it's Pansa's, but Vesper uses it far more often. He keeps the overhead lights off, just turning on the ambient lights beneath the water, setting them to a soft pink. The water is cold at night, since he never bothers to turn on the heaters. He lowers himself in slowly and launches off the side with his feet, dipping below the water and silently swimming across the length of the pool. He touches his fingertips to the opposite wall, comes up for a breath, and then launches off again. He lets himself get lost in the rhythm of it, almost meditative as each gasp for breath and soft splash fills the otherwise silent room. He'd struggled with swimming when he was young. He'd never seen so much water in one place before, and he certainly couldn't imagine being able to move your body through it. He hadn't been the only cadet who couldn't swim, but he still wasn't willing to be left behind, learning this basic skill as others got to start the real training. He took up every second of pool time he was allowed to. The number of times he'd almost drowned was over half a dozen. It never stopped him. Tonight he swims with grace, barely perceptible in the dark, pink water. On one wall of the pool room is a massive window overlooking the city of Starport. Lights glimmer from below, but up above the jagged silhouette of skyscrapers is a clear view of the night sky. Three moons shine brightly, surrounded by the pinprick light of stars. Vesper lets it interrupt his focus, gliding to the edge of the pool and staring out. The city is always alight, never sleeping, alive with the constant flow of power thanks to Stardust, the lifeblood of the Empire. He's not unlike the city, in that way. As his gaze turns up towards the sky, he gets a familiar feeling in his chest. It feels like someone is pulling him, like there are two strong hands wrapped around his ribs tugging him out toward the sky. The tightness spreads up into his neck, feeling as if there's something lodged there, words he does not know trapped in his throat, desperately needing to be called out. He tries to follow the feeling, let the words free, but there's nothing. He remains silent. Finally, he pushes away from the wall and treads water in the center of the pool. If he looks closely at the water he can almost convince himself that it's reflecting the sky. Vesper takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He lets himself sink. He can feel it when his back makes contact with the floor. He looks behind him, but nothing is there. Stretching infinitely in all directions is the cold, eternal void of space. His hair flows up above him with no gravity to hold it down. Beyond him is a field of stars, trillions all clustered together, sisters lighting up the otherwise desolate stage in a glittering crescendo of flame and color. For a moment their magnificence is all he can comprehend, and he releases the knot in his throat in a silent, awestruck breath. Bubbles emerge from his mouth and float up and away.
Their beauty reaches his soul, but their warmth is inaccessible at this distance. The void's cold prickles against his skin. His fingers buzz like static, and when he finally brings them up to his face they're a bright pink. With a twitch, his fingertips break away into shimmering Stardust. There's an odd feeling in his chest again. It's different now, not being pulled away but rather crushing in on itself. It feels tight and uncomfortable, constricting his lungs and pressing hard against his bones. He watches as more of his hand disintegrates and floats away from him. It doesn't hurt much. It's prickly and uncomfortable, but then it's just numb. Maybe it will spread across his whole body. That wouldn't be so bad really. He could stay here forever that way. The pressure has turned into pain. It's crushing his lungs, traveling up his esophagus and winding around his throat. It hurts. He wants the light to spread faster, to reach his chest and turn it to dust so the ache will stop. He'll be at rest, his body turned to Stardust, the lifeblood of the Empire. The Empire. Vesper opens his eyes. He breaks the surface of the water with a crash and is able to make his way to a ledge, resting his weight against it as he violently coughs and gasps for air. It takes him several minutes to finally catch his breath. He's tired, and he's freezing, but he feels more at ease than he had before. He gets out and dries himself off, changing into some very comfortable pajamas, a gift from Pansa. He returns to his quarters and crawls back into bed. The covers are soft and warm. Feeling cozy and exhausted, he finds it easy to drift off to sleep. He dreams of stars.
#CW for Drowning risk. Described Difficulty breathing. and slight body horror#Also: Vesper does not have any desire to hurt himself or to stop living#However. Some content in this writing may reflect those sorts of feelings or ideations#It could be argued that the reckless behavior in this writing could also be considered self-harm#To be specific: He goes swimming alone late at night and lets himself stay under the water longer than is safe#Please keep these things in mind before reading#Vesper tag#(Also I wrote this at 1:00 am so don't expect art or anything lol)#Some clarification for what's going on: Vesper sometimes feels a deep sense of longing for outer space#Like something is calling him there. Like he belongs there. So besides taking a spaceship all the way out there the closest-#-He can get is being underwater. So this is kinda therapeutic for him. He can feel briefly closer to the stars#and is also able to remind himself of the things he values that he doesn't want to leave behind.#Obviously it's reckless and not really safe#But I assure you all he's just fine. Think of it more like an intense homesickness than a desire to actually become a star or-#-Leave his life behind.
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trying to find out if you can link to body coding in external sheets the way you can link to external style sheets is just. so frustrating. every search result is like ‘here’s how to use style sheets <3’ like bestie. beloved. i know how to use style sheets. im aware. i wanna know of it’s only for css or if it’s also for other coding 😭
#like i have many many links on my neocities but all those go into the body tag. not the style tag. and i need to manually need to#keep opening each file and changing each think locally if things need to be changed i might actually lose my mind#like please…….i need a better way 😭#🎆.txt
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how many sideblogs is too many sideblogs
#citrine speaks#listen. listen#this is my comics blog.#sw gets its own.#live action superhero content has its own#grisha stuff is another#but the thing is. thats insufficient bc i keep finding myself reading New Fics and wanting to rb and scream but they dont fit into those#categories. and i cant break theme what are you on about#but also like. sometimes the fandom the new fic is for is too niche to warrant ANOTHER sideblog.#my intense urge to categorize and sort vs my... what is this#it's not reallllly minimalism this is like#idk it kinda feels like im like. telling myself no bc its a 'waste'#a waste of WHAT bitch???? of what??? omg please.#okay apparently this has been speedrunning a therapy session in the tags thanks for tuning in guys#the mind is such a trip. you mean i gotta write stuff down or say it out loud for me to identify my problems#why exactly can the thinking box not.... think through issues. hm?
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im going to surgically remove the kane chronicles from the rest of the riordanverse im so serious
#blue.txt#why is most of the tag on tumblr and ao3 just pjo shit?????#please keep percy and nico quarantined to their own series not all of us want to see them everywhere we go#seriously 600 fics in the tkc tag and 400 of those are about pjo im so sick of it#tkc is so good by itself but for some reason people are terrified of enjoying these books as their own standalone books#i want to say this is mcu fan behavior but im not in any marvel fandoms so i wouldnt know#i actually dont mind the magnus chase tkc crossovers that much since the magnus chase books also get neglected a lot#it's the pjo and hoo crossovers that piss me off
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Thinking about the movie The Black Phone (2021)........
#THE. WHUMPERFLIES.#IT WAS SO CREEPY BUT I LOVE ME A GOOD KIDNAPPING ESCAPE MOVIE#minor whumpee tho PLEASE keep that in mind if you decide to watch#it's fully just kidnapper nabbing kids and it's creepy as everything#but *dude.* when i tell you that whumper was wild#those scenes where he's obviously just waiting for the kidnapped person to make a mistake..........#lowkey there were those scenes where it was just sad tho... like their home life was so rough#i am fully just rambling because i thought about it today but..... might act out and just watch it lol#abuse tw#child abuse tw#parental abuse tw#just because that's in the movie and i want you guys to be warned????#minor whumpee tw#also like#just *really* suggestive kinds of things said to the kidnapped person. it's not great...#suggestive language tw#idk really how to tag this. just know this movie is rough#but good >:)#highly suggest checking out 'does the dog die' if you're gonna watch it tho#rambling?#yeah rambling lol
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Look I fundamentally understand why they’ve opted to remove survival/combat mechanics from p3 but like…I’m so sad that means I can’t occur a random bloodlust again!
#I was getting into fighters with muggers on purpose#but also I feel like doing that is a kinda disservice in a sense?#since like things are in chaos? your position in the world doesn’t matter once all hell breaks loose#it won’t save you from being stabbed in the streets it won’t save you from starving#maybeeeeee they’re gonna do some character tweaking to where there’s a in universe reason on why this isn’t an issue#and if they pull it off effectively I’ll put my money where my mouth is#however as it currently stands I don’t like it#but also makes me wonder how they plan on handling Clara? like what will her gameplay be like?#like I don’t mind them switching up gameplay styles for each healer#whatever it’s creative I can fuck with it so long as it’s done right#but like when considering Clara I feel like you can’t separate her from surivial mechanics#so it’ll probably feel odd if two out of three healers have those mechanics while the other just doesn’t?#and again maybe they’ll sell it neatly and I’ll be giving it praise#but like just AGGHHHHUUGHHHH#banging my head against the wall#guess maybe Clara they could do a more stealth mechanic? but dunno about that#I’m using mechanic when I should probably say gameplay but I’m running on two hours of sleep let me be….#please#talking to the void tag#but like I don’t see the kains going out of their way to ensure his safety#he’s just a means to an end for them he’s just a pawn he is replaceable to them#he’s not special if he died they would find someone else to further their goals#nobody has an incentive to keep him alive!#his position means fucking nothing! he is nothing in this town! nothing in this situation#he should be fighting to cling to life just like everyone else!!#but whatever! maybe my issues with this will be solved when the game is released#because maybe there will be a decent reasoning given#I need to sleep
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I may not be good at doing much with activism cause I'm still getting my own shit together, but I'll tell you I remember stuff
Slips my mind more than I like, but I don't forget what's happened to Iranians, to Syrians, I don't forget the Hong Kong protests
I remember how it was, I refuse to follow a new narrative when I was there watching across an ocean
As an American I think I have an obligation to support people fighting for their freedom... kinda one of the things about the American identity that's supposed to mean something, the idea you're supposed to support everyone everywhere in being able to choose how to live their life
So I won't forget what the Iranian government's done, I won't ever let them pretend to be moral after I watched them with blood on their hands, their so called morality police brutalizing people just trying to live, and then fighting to be free
I may not be able to do much, probably don't do as much as I could or should, but I'll never forget and when it's called for I'll never forgive either
Can't follow all the horror in the world, hell, I can hardly keep up with Haiti or Sudan who both deserve support
But I do pay attention, I do see some of what happens, I won't forget and I won't let people feed me a new version of what I've seen
#i was thinking about other less serious but still serious stuff#think cultural issues rather than human rights issues#but i was thinking about things that have happened; that i watched first hand#and how... people just have this new version of them#they take the word of a random tumblr user over people who were there#and there rewrite stuff#fine... i can't force you to listen#but... i won't forget#and the places the details get fuzzy at least I'm honest#at least i say 'I'd have to do some research on what happened'#like i know the broad strokes of when the Night in the Wood's dev killed himself#but I'm forgetting a couple details that... really don't matter#but i had my ear to the ground; you won't make me forget this stuff#big or small; i keep this stuff in mind#you people (broad general gesturing at the world) love lying about shit i was there for#and people gobble up these narratives#but fuck you; i saw what i saw#not gonna say other people didn't see what they saw too#but... i think some people are spinning some bullshit cause they were spinning it at the time#just like now it seems people are spinning bullshit around these attacks#trying to rewrite history like those brutal crackdowns on protests didn't happen#protests over police murdering an innocent woman for existing#I've seen stuff; at least i cite what i saw and moot second hand tumblr posts#was on my mind already; seeing that post just... made me think in other contexts#please stop fucking swallowing whatever some tumblr user said#I'm begging you; i adore you; i don't think you read my tags#please stop falling for this stuff; your so smart and caring#please stop worrying about your past and fearing falling out of step with the crowd#think for yourself on this stuff; be critical; your so good; please be critical#mm tag so i can find things later
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.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. it’s late at night and you try to cuddle with sukuna. keyword; try.
wc. 1.2k
tags. true form!sukuna x female reader. fluff, angst (+comfort). heian era. size difference (readers referred to as small). sukuna’s a bit mean, but he also has a soft spot for you. miscommunication ? it gets solved. reader gets called ‘woman, doll’.
“what are you trying to do?” sukuna sighs. you’re up to something again, he figures. his red eyes follow your body as it crawls up to him on the bed.
you’re both tired after a long day of fulfilling some duties here and there around the estate. all you need is a big beefy man wrapping his arms around you to keep you warm and safe.
the perfect man for that is sukuna. those four arms of his wrapped around your small body feel like heaven.
“it’s called cuddling,” you retort. the sarcastic tone you used triggers a deep sigh from the sorcerer. sukuna holds back the urge to say something sarcastic as well.
he doesn’t utter a single word once you snuggle up to his chest. you’ve taught him how to cuddle during the first time you asked him to hold you. sukuna was awkward with showing any type of affection back then.
. . he still very much is.
“hug, please,” you remind him. the cold-hearted man scoffs, though listens to your polite request. all four of his arms imprison you against his chest, your small body nearly disappearing behind his limbs.
that’s what you like most about those cuddles you share together; how you fit so perfectly in his strong arms. it’s much more comforting than you thought it would be.
a pair of hands rests on your waist, the other pair on your hips. sukuna glances down at you and immediately notices that smile on your lips. even after all this time, he still cannot fathom why you’re so carefree around a monster like him.
and that inability to understand you and your love for him is accompanied by an urge to push you away.
“you got your hug, now get up,” sukuna interrupts the silence. his voice is cold and devoid of emotion—he uses that voice when he talks to other people. not with you, “i have better things to attend to.”
thus, it hurts. when he talks to you like that. like you’re not the person he secretly cherishes most. though, you remind yourself of sukuna’s own words. the ones you heard him say a while ago.
‘love is meaningless’, he said. you remember. and yet you kept hoping that he’d change his mind about that statement. you hoped and eventually saw exactly that: your presence and your affectionate gestures mellowed his heart of steel.
but all that effort seems to go down the drain every time sukuna pushes you away.
you know it’s because he’s unfamiliar with the feelings of love. he may not say it nor show it, but you know that sukuna’s afraid of hurting you. so, he creates a gap between you two every now and then.
you know and yet you’re patient.
“oh, ‘kay,” you nod in understanding. you pull away from his embrace and get up from the bed. your bottom lip trembles.
sukuna is not gullible. he’s anything but oblivious. especially if it’s about how you feel and act. he notices every single change in your mood; whether you mask it or not.
you walk to the sliding doors—ready to open them and step out into the hallway. your eyes are a bit watery, but you quickly blink the tears away and take a deep breath in. you reach for the door.
“come back here, woman.”
sukuna’s booming voice makes you stop. you glance at his form over your shoulder. he’s leaning against the headboard of the bed, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
is he. . . upset?
“why? you said you had better things to attend to.” you answer with a shrug. you try your best to not make it seem like his earlier words had effected you. you turn your head towards the word with a huff, “go on, then.”
sukuna narrows his eyes. he sucks at communicating what he actually desires—what he actually wants. right now that want is for you to stay. even though that completely contradicts his previous words.
the sorcerer doesn’t know what to do. when you’re with him, he pushes you away out of guilt. when you’re away, he wants you back with him.
love is complicated.
“you. . .” sukuna grunts in frustration. all those feelings for you inside of his heart are playing with his rational thoughts. he doesn’t like seeing you upset. he wants the usual you back, “tsk. fine then.”
silence, followed by the creaking of the bed frame. seems like sukuna’s getting up to do whatever ‘business’ he needed to attend. at least, that’s what you thought.
you slide the door open and set a foot outside of the chambers. before the other could follow, you’re suddenly lifted up in the air by a strong pair of hands. your vision turns upside down as your body is effortlessly hoisted onto a shoulder.
“woah!” you gasp and feel the blood go to your head. your eyes are fixed on the back of your lover. you kick your legs in protest, but only get a smack to your ass in response. you whine at that, “put me down!”
“watch it, doll,” sukuna hisses at your fierce demand, a warning to fix your tone. he puts you back down on the soft mattress. he’s surprisingly gentle when he settles you in place—not throwing you on the bed or anything similar, “should’ve listened when i told you the first time.”
your eyes meet sukuna’s and you notice how much they’ve softened. that alone makes the lump in your throat disappear. your love for him isn’t one sided—you’ve always kept that in the back of your mind—yet your thoughts made you overlook the little things he does for you.
his actions speak louder than his words. that’s the kind of man he is.
sukuna’s trying to open up more, though that process is slow. you’re fine with that.
especially when there’s that faint pout on his lips as he stares at you. his eyebrows are still furrowed, his crimson eyes sharp yet warm.
“oh, you want me back in bed this bad?” you tease once you get the opportunity. the man in front of you clicks his tongue and grabs your cheeks with one hand, turning your head up to face him.
sukuna’s eyes are focused on yours. the eye contact is intimidating, but you’re hypnotised. you physically can’t look away. he leans in and bites your lip with his sharp canines, “shut up.”
that raspy whisper alone confirms your assumption. you giggle at his attempt of refuting your point. you’re used to all those intimidating words and actions he pulls to get you to stop your teasing.
those empty threats—it’s becoming rather cute with how hard he tries to deny everything. he fails nearly every time, however.
“come,” sukuna lays back against the pillows after placing a quick and sloppy kiss against your lips. he pulls your body against his and presses your head against his chest, right where his heart is beating, “continue with your.. ‘cuddling’ thing.”
he put your ear right above his heart, because he remembers listening to his heartbeat calms you down. you told him that a while back. sukuna doesn’t understand why you like it, but his fingers massage your scalp either way.
that’s also something that brings you comfort.
you’re surprised by how much he knows about you, but appreciate it anyway. he remembers both the big and small things about you. ‘that’s how he probably shows his love,’ you conclude silently.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk fluff#sukuna x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x y/n#sukuna fluff
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